Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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