Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
