hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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