Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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