where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize