i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
