Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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