Already got asked if we're dating
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize