after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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