My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
