It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
