At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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