The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
