Small penises have feelings too.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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