I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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