he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
