You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i think im in europe. pls send help
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
