My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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