Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
