I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
