you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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