I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
