Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
