3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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