I have demons in me.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
