"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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