i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
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