just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
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Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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