Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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