what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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