She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
