FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
