covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
