Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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