TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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