addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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