Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
