You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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