i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
