does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
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Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
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If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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