I feel like abortions should bother me more
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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