I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
