someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
