i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
there was a trapeze. enough said
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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