ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
