Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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