those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
