you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
