apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
