Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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