hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
