my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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