The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
