I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think my fart just growled at me.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
