butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
