He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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