Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
