Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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