I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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