apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
