last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
