He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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