I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
