new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She's the barista slut.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I think i got beer on your cat.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
