she sounds like chewbacca in bed
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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