So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
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